Thursday, October 29

The Gay Divorcee

Okay, get this: I was surfing the channels on my TV via my Comcast remote control, scrolling up and down the TV guide for a nice show to watch while gobbling down my dinner like a hungry lunatic, when I stumbled upon a movie named The Gay Divorcee. And immediately I thought to myself, "Gay Porn? Cannot be!" I have to admit, that title was a little too direct to misinterpret, right? A married man who becomes gay and divorces his wife, hence The Gay Divorcee.

But I was not so easily convinced since I do not subscribe to any form of visual indecency. So I clicked the Information button and see what it was all about. And lo and behold, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were in the movie. A 1934 flick as well. The first thing that came to my mind was--and don't think me thick for this natural response--"They already had porn way back then already?"

Well, of course, that thought came and gone within seconds. I wasn't that stupid. I mean, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in a steamy scene? Come on, I know the golden age of musicals like the back of my hand, and they barely kissed during that time, at least not until Marilyn Monroe came along with her pouty smile and her sleepy eyes and whispy voice. And not to mention her famous oops-the-vent's-blowing-my-skirt-up-up-and-away scene in The Seven Year Itch.

Anyway, forget about Marilyn and let's get back to Fred and Ginger. It's all about etymology. I mean, the word gay used to mean happy. So, in essence, The Gay Divorcee should be about a divorced man who is happy. Agree? But fast forward to the 21st century, gay means a lot more than happy. So if Hollywood were to whip out a movie with a title such as The Gay Divorcee, unless it means a gay man skipping around town whistling happy showtunes, that movie's not going to fly anywhere. Meaning, blockbuster turkey of the year! Because titles and meanings are important.

Let me illustrate. Imagine Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets as Harry Potts and the Chamber Pots of Secrets (and yes, this title does exist, but did not do too well in the market, go figure). How do you think it would sell? Or imagine The Reader as The Illiterate? It won't sell either. Or how about The Notebook as The Forgetful Lovers? Get my drift here?

In conclusion, The Gay Divorcee wouldn't be The Gay Divorcee today, but Happy Feet. Oh wait, that title's been taken. Damn the penguins! But in anyway, The Gay Divorcee would be called by any other name BUT The Gay Divorcee.

So, here's my challenge. If you've seen the movie, let me know what you think The Gay Divorcee should be named today. Remember, titles are important. They can make or break your movie, book, or child. (I know of a woman whose name is Gamble Lynn Money. Needless to say, she's doing time now at the top of the mountain--prison, for those not from Utah County--for poisoning her parents.

Back to the topic at hand: give me your ideas, suggestions. What would The Gay Divorcee be called today should it be a modern day movie? I trust that you will give it a blockbuster name.

And now, I rest my case.